Moondog Matinee

Farewell

2009-02-26T16:25:00.000-06:00

I lied; there will only be one Mardi Gras Installment.The time has come for me to move on from the blog. It's been fun, but I need to concentrate on other writing projects. Thank you for reading. Peace.

Mardi Gras Chronicle Installment One: Muses

2009-02-26T10:12:00.006-06:00

Pre-Mardi Gras Weekend (Sat, Sun, Mon, Fat Tues), there were a handful of parades I attended. Krewe de Vieux in the French Quarter on Saturday, February 7, in throwback style with lots of costumed paraders on foot, smaller floats, and raunchy satire ("Stimulus Package," "Stocks and Bondage"), celebrated by me and Betsy and Ellis, as we indulged in our own shout-out to the past (passing around a

From Zulu to Obama

2009-02-20T14:41:00.000-06:00

Get President Obama his coconut! http://www.nola.com/news/index.ssf/2009/02/obamas_custompainted_zulu_coco.htm

On Wanting All the Music

2009-02-19T13:33:00.000-06:00

Somebody please school me in how to download Bit Torrents!I want all the music. Maybe I won't even listen to all of it. There will be duds but I will know they are duds. For the record, I'll have all the records. In an age when you can have it all, why suffer from anxiety about missing spaces in your Itunes library? It's a masculine trait, really, the need to know all the stuff, boast the

Aretha Out, Neil Young In

2009-02-18T13:37:00.006-06:00

I've never understood the fascination with Neil Young. He can turn a man into a love-struck boy. When they hear his clear high pitch, they're lured as though by the pied piper, by promises of immortality and eternal boyhood that instead end up in a coke-hole. He even kind of looks like a child-molester, now that I think of it. And there's his last name. Its not just eternal boyhood these

Flossing in the Car

2009-02-17T12:30:00.001-06:00

What's the verdict?

Laptops in the Sun

2009-02-17T12:26:00.004-06:00

Since the beginning of college, I've pondered why they've never been able to design a setting on laptops that would enable you to see the screen outside on a sunny day. Why even ask such a question? Imagine your favorite grassy knoll, covered by people on their laptops beneath a hazy wireless orb. It would be an abomination. Technology really does make us want it all, even when it don't make

On Catching On Late

2009-02-16T13:42:00.011-06:00

Because I can no longer watch, I am now Reading the Sopranos, edited by David Lavery. It's a collection of critical essays about the show, written by academics in Film Studies and contributors to journals of TV and Film Studies, etc. My favorite essays so far have been "What Has Carmela Ever Done for Feminism? Carmela Soprano and the Post-Feminist Dilemma," by Janet McCabe and Kim Akass, (

Meet Kate the Bike

2009-02-16T12:30:00.005-06:00

I finally joined my fellow urban green youth and bought a bike. She's a cruiser, which I think means she has no gears, pedal brakes, and wide old-lady handle bars. I can ride slowly with a crazed look like in a horror movie set in the suburbs. Or I can speed away until my leg muscles ache, because my bike is set at just the right resistance. This will be my first Mardi Gras with a bike, which

OCD as a Strategy

2009-02-13T15:17:00.002-06:00

From now on, I will sleep literally eight hours every night; no more, no less. If I go to bed at 12:29, then I will rise at 8:29. If I set the alarm, and then go brush my teeth, I will have to check the clock and adjust my wake-up time by the minutes just elapsed. This way, I will officially literally exactly have had the adequate hours of sleep you're supposed to have to be a productive,

Moondog Matinee

2009-02-13T14:39:00.002-06:00

Look out, my blog just realized itself. Expect shows daily, or your money back!

Netflix Pits Housemates Against Each Other

2009-02-13T12:45:00.005-06:00

Ever notice that you and your housemate hardly ever receive shipments on the same day? You'll be eagerly awaiting discs 3 and 4 of some belated series, rush to the mailbox, only to see Jude Matthews's name printed on the cheap red paper slips. This is intentional, my friend. Different accounts, same address? The company pounces on such an opportunity, thinking, what better strategy to render

Chris-to-pher Mol-ti-san-ti

2009-02-13T12:01:00.008-06:00

What would you say if I named my first-born Christopher Moltisanti? It's just something about the name itself that haunts me. The "Chr" that scrapes into a hiss; the "pher" that lapses into a grr; Moltisanti that sounds like a saint in molten effigy. (Kind of like the mafia initiation ritual, in which the initiate's finger is pricked and the blood smeared on the image of a saint, which is then

On Resisting Labels

2009-02-13T12:00:00.001-06:00

After recently watching Scorsese's Dylan documentary, No Direction Home, I assert, I am not a topical blogger.

Buzzwords in the News

2009-02-10T08:18:00.002-06:00

Stop talking about pork like it's a bad thing! Bacon tastes goood. Pork chops taste goood.

New Orleans Mixed Metaphors

2009-02-05T23:02:00.002-06:00

The chocolate city that care forgot.Who Dat say they know gonna miss New Orleans?New Orleans: proud to call it the Big Easy. I went on down to the Audubon Zoo, and they all said "Yeah, ya right!"Make Good Times Not War

An Ode to the Oyster

2009-02-05T18:18:00.005-06:00

Oyster, Ostra. Genus Ostrea. Of the House of Ostreidae. Ostracized? An academic father might muse aloud about origins, a far-away look in his eyes, before finishing his wine. There’s a book with a stately title, he would pursue later, licking thumb to better lift the pages, as the younger generation might peruse wikipedia, cautious not to learn too much. Now,

A "Been-Had," a "Couldn't-Catch," or a "Never-Will-Be"

2009-01-30T09:00:00.002-06:00

I (we?) usually divide washed-up older people into the categories of "has-been," "burn-out," or "never-was." So how does one divy up the young lacking drive or potential, destined for the same fate? A "Been-had," a "Couldn't-catch," or a "Never-will-be."

What's your Favorite Thoroughfare?

2009-01-29T14:16:00.005-06:00

When I slow up to wind a right at this weather vane of street signs, I know I'm going home. For Tony, it's taking the New Jersey Turnpike until the exit for Elizabeth, NJ. For me, it's swinging from Napoleon to S. Broad.

Il Posto Cafe

2009-01-29T13:02:00.014-06:00

I finally made it to Il Posto, a newish neighborhood cafe at the corner of Dryades and Cadiz. It has that New York appeal that is received as a novelty down here, keeping over-priced businesses like Stein's Deli in business (why not pay 12 bucks for a delicious "Sam" of hot pastrami, swiss, and cole slaw on rye with russian dressing, when it's the only place you can find one?) At Il Posto,

Going to Canal Place to See a Movie by Yourself

2009-01-29T12:52:00.003-06:00

Sneaking shots from 3rd floor of parking garage.

The One-Way Conversation I Have Every Morning

2009-01-29T12:38:00.003-06:00

"Are you a cat?"

Chris Mooney on the Colbert Report

2009-01-27T13:08:00.002-06:00

No, I am not using my brother to get more hits. Check it out:.cc_box a:hover .cc_home{background:url('http://www.comedycentral.com/comedycentral/video/assets/syndicated-logo-over.png') !important;}.cc_links a{color:#b9b9b9;text-decoration:none;}.cc_show a{color:#707070;text-decoration:none;}.cc_title a{color:#868686;text-decoration:none;}.cc_links a:hover{color:#67bee2;text-decoration:underline;

Foodie at Fifteen

2009-01-26T09:53:00.004-06:00

Do you think he would be friends with me?Another 2009 Bloggie nominee, Foodie at Fifteen is way ahead of the rest of us. Well, he's sixteen now, but he already makes duck confit, experiments with some cooking method known as "sous vide," and is a terrific writer to boot! Takes nice pictures of the food, too. Precocious young people are so much cooler than your standard adult. But most of the

"Stuff White People Like" is Funny Again

2009-01-25T20:16:00.005-06:00

I remember the first time I was sent the link. I immediately liked the title. I mean, white people love to self-parody because we are self-conscious about our dorkiness and embarrassed of our privilege. But after reading a few entries, I lost interest. I remember the post about white people liking Mos Def. My response to that post, and most of the others I read, was a small eruption of

The Sopranos Episode They Never Wrote

2009-01-20T20:21:00.003-06:00

Did you hear?The mafia is on facebook.WWTD? (What Would Tony Do?)

The Face Doctor

2009-01-20T12:20:00.010-06:00

Wouldn't it be cool if you could hire somebody to explain your face to you? Or rather, if it were a medical practice you could set up an appointment for? Face-reading, face-consultation, face-assessment. Like palm-reading, but rooted in the understanding of bone-structure, muscle behavior, and genetics, instead of some gypsy chart. Wow, that sounded awful. I can imagine myself at my first

Magic Molly

2009-01-18T21:27:00.011-06:00

This girl is good. I'm jealous, but I also want to be friends. Mostly, I want her to let me in on her secret. Is it those pictures she always posts of herself? Was it that ivy league education? Is it some New York shit? What will it take for me to get to where she is??? Oh Magic Molly, if only I could shake you like the 8-ball on my bedside table and know the answer!

If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em

2009-01-16T14:32:00.011-06:00

Nah.I think it's more like, "If you can't join 'em, beat 'em." One word: networking. That's how it begins. You pick your field of interest, and try to get attention from the people who are connected in said field. Then you bust your ass doing what you can to get them to invite you in, let you hang out, intern, and eventually, hire you, pay you, respect you?! If after doing your best at this

On Why the Downtrodden Economy Inspires More Game Playing

2009-01-16T00:26:00.011-06:00

Not the Jewel kind. Well, maybe; I wouldn't know at this particular stage of my life. If you wanted to really mess me up, you should have gotten to me sooner! (John Cusack in the rain.)Why we like to play games. Playing games is fun. Obviously, it's cheap. Your friends all come over. You drink a bunch--or not. Sometimes you sip tea and the little brother is invited. (Not the sexy little

Go see Prospect 1 Before it's Too Late

2009-01-15T18:34:00.022-06:00

I, too, am guilty of not taking advantage of all the cultural opportunities available to me. On account of not applying myself. Preferring what's comfortable to what's enriching and provoking. Prospect 1 has been free all this time, and still, until today, I never made it out! And worst of all, I'm a blogger! (Wait, please don't take that out of context.) I could have been advertising the

The Mardi Gras Jitters

2009-01-12T11:46:00.007-06:00

The other night I had a dream that combined the spirit of Mardi Gras with the fitful mood of hurricane time. I was holed up in what seemed like turn-of-the-century immigrant tenement housing, and a family-owned business, a pork store or something--with the cast of the Sopranos. I was myself but also fulfilled Meadow's role in the family--the daughter. The building had two stories, with some

All this Coffee is Making me Drowsy

2009-01-10T08:30:00.013-06:00

I've decided these coffee shops are really devised to hide you from the day. Their awnings shield you from streams of sunlight. You can see leaves rusting in the oak trees, and hear buses lugging from stop to street as you would in bed those last early morning hours of sleep. The lamps are always dim, and everyone is silent and alone. (Thank God it's not a social scene, with everybody

Hornets Beat

2009-01-08T11:16:00.005-06:00

Now I know sports journalists like to keep their language as spry and bouncy as Chris Paul's footwork, but I don't think "Hornets Beat" is the right title for nola.com's hornet's blog. Yaddida mean? Especially after games like last night's; nobody wants to see a poor performance advertised with such empty-brained enthusiasm the next day! As though that outcome is expected. "Hornets Beat"

A Good Davis

2009-01-08T11:13:00.002-06:00

Matt Davis loves when a good "book" falls in his lap.http://www.new.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=42756139197&h=R6idM&u=kuikT

Hot Reads

2009-01-07T13:45:00.007-06:00

New Orleans: where there are no celebrities, just your friends.http://www.nola.com/living/t-p/index.ssf?/base/living-12/1231309300208240.xml&coll=1"You actually read The Odyssey on your own, just for fun?"Come on nola.com, print the picture of the young literate stud!! Modeling Agencies: for Matt Davis's head-shot, see today's Times-Pic, paper copy.

Let's Go to the Coffeeshop--YAH

2009-01-04T22:43:00.006-06:00

Rainy Saturday. I feel dizzy, Sumatran dark roast won't fix me. Old men sit outside on the benches and yawn, erudite or bemused? It's impossible to tell. Ballzack and Odoms watch Youtube videos of themselves on their blackberries, in between free styles a la jay and silent bob. Ur, except double the Jay. Is that what this is? Illusion of a sophisticated hang, because of Amsterdam and the

New Orleans: Where there are no celebrities, just your friends

2009-01-04T20:16:00.005-06:00

Ballzack, aka Rami Sharkey, and I now know each other. Yep. From the restaurant and the coffeeshop. Though I'm still too shy to introduce myself to Adam/Odoms. Sigh. I used to say that these two were the exception to the rule. Who to look up to, now that the Gods roam the Earth alongside you?

Dropping the Fleur-de-lis

2008-12-31T17:56:00.008-06:00

This year, downtown revelers will watch a fleur-de-lis, instead of the Post-K paper-mache gumbo pot, drop in Jackson Square. I hear it is black and gold, nine feet high by six feet wide, and will ascend a 25-foot pole to the top of Jax Brewery before dropping amidst a backdrop of fireworks over the Mississippi River. The fluckin' fleur-de-lis--why don't we just drop it?It seems there's no

Preaux Life

2008-12-29T14:11:00.002-06:00

Can it get any worse than this?http://www.prolifelouisiana.org/store/preauxlife.html

She Can be All Four Seasons in One Day

2008-12-29T14:04:00.003-06:00

December in New Orleans: The Weather Channel's Greatest Hits.

Who Dat Need Paint?

2008-12-29T13:55:00.004-06:00

I finally snagged a picture of this sign I mentioned long ago. Intersection of Gentilly Blvd and Paris Ave, right before 6-10 ramp towards Slidell.

Soprano's Meat Market

2008-12-29T13:27:00.011-06:00

I fell for the gimmick.How does one take pictures without a)looking like an asshole b) getting hit by a car?One dog goes one way, one dog goes the other way...Where da cold cuts 'n shit?

Venice? or Mid-City

2008-12-29T13:13:00.007-06:00

From Billy Goat's Gruff Bridge:Moses in the Reeds? I'm a dilettantish Jewish scholar.

Mid-City Walk

2008-12-29T12:47:00.009-06:00

One of my favorite views: rows of Easter-egg shotguns across Bayou St. John.Including Parkway bakery:I'm pretty attached to my local gas station. Is that unusual?What up Civil War Monument:

Mid-City Lights

2008-12-12T00:30:00.018-06:00

and a few lakeview lights:

Snow Day

2008-12-11T16:18:00.007-06:00

Ok, it was cute for five minutes, but I don't live in Ohio anymore, what is this!!! No, just kidding; to be honest, it gave me a thrill.

Spin the Bar Wheel! or The Return of the Blog

2008-12-07T22:35:00.019-06:00

Oh my god, like where are we going out tonight? I really need something new, I'm in like such a funk. Oh my god, you fucking bitch, you did not just suggest Balcony. I'm like so over Balcony. Please, how about something new??? Like a different neighborhood? Oh really, you think there's no boys in Mid-City? That doesn't even make sense, what are you even talking about. Ok, I'm done with

75th Anniversary of the Repealing of Prohibition

2008-12-05T16:19:00.002-06:00

Like we need more reasons to celebrate drinking. Also, what is it about weather extremes that make you want to go on a bender? In the summertime, when it's hot as shit, that's all you want to do. Beer and sweat and late nights. And in the winter time, when it's cold as fuck, you warm up with icy liquor drinks. Whereas in fall and spring: moderation in all things.Hmm. See you at the bars!

Hot Guys Love Sandwiches

2008-11-23T20:22:00.009-06:00

The Oak Street Po-Boy Festival was today! Banners read "S.O.S. Save our Sandwiches," and the event was hosted by the Po-boy Preservation Society. I didn't know the Po-boy was endangered! I was so upset when I found out that I promptly drove to Oak Street and waded through the crowd, and waited in long lines to get my last bites in. Among all the different varieties, there were no shit

"The formerly middle-class"

2008-11-19T14:26:00.005-06:00

David Brooks wrote an op-ed today stating that our current recession will affect the middle class more than any other sociological group. "In particular, it's likely to produce a new social group; the formerly middle class. These are people who achieved middle-class status at the tail end of the long boom, and then lost it. to them, the gap between where they are and where they used to be will

You Can Call Me Al

2008-11-08T14:15:00.011-06:00

Since I turned 23 two days ago, I've been worrying about aging. Wrinkles and shit. Looks like the cosmetics industry just got me by the balls. It's hard to be a girl. That's what she said.When you go shopping wearing clothes that you bought at that same store recently, do you feel self-conscious? I do.Back during sophomore year of college, a guy once told me, "You know, maybe you should get a

Be A Better Person For Obama

2008-11-06T13:56:00.008-06:00

Yesterday, when I woke up, hung-over and hopeful, I felt like it was New Year's. A new day that I, in excitement and nervous anticipation, had celebrated too much for, and then eased into with both caution and earnest. I set out with new resolutions, because I want to be a better person for Obama. Your syndicated columnists have delivered the words you pay to read, about the future of the

GEAUX VOTE OBAMA

2008-11-04T10:18:00.002-06:00

I'm Kate Mooney and I approve this message, I think it's totally hot.

Second Line News

2008-11-02T12:28:00.001-06:00

Check out my preview for Prospect One!

YURPS...Tap that Ass!

2008-10-30T23:30:00.006-05:00

As I wrote in my post "New Orleans Own: 9-5ers, the Next Generation" it's no secret there's no jobs here. Trying to find a mate? The lack of a job-market precludes the existence of yuppies, so who the hell is going to treat you to a fancy blueberry mojito at St. Joe's? You best stick to the child molesters who frequent Mae's. (Ok, there are well-dressed, affluent-looking young men at St. Joe's

NOLA this, NOLA that: Too Meta

2008-10-28T16:08:00.008-05:00

Why oh why do we self-promote so much? We have redefined the term self-promote. It's reflexive right? You promote yourself. To others. But what if you constantly promote yourself to yourself? What's the word for that?I'm so so tired of every business incorporating NOLA into the title, either as a prefix or a suffix. NolaJava, Nolabeans, Nola Brewing Company, Nola Furniture, Nola tattoo,

But wait...am I a hipster?

2008-10-28T15:37:00.007-05:00

So, I've been rocking the thrift store scene down here, and feeling at once lucky and guilty. I get all these great deals, and sure I don't have a lot of money, but thrift stores are not supposed to be cheap thrills for stylish urbanites; they're supposed to offer relief to struggling lower class families. Not to mention I'm getting addicted, and I feel like some superficial stay at home mom

Will the Real Sarah Palin Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up...

2008-10-21T23:06:00.003-05:00

If only she were funny?

Jokes? or Politics-as-usual?

2008-10-09T14:03:00.006-05:00

This NY Times article discusses how this election year, political comedy shows' ratings have increased to record-breaking numbers. This time around, watching the speeches and debates isn't so different from watching political skits, as viewers tune in largely for entertainment value, and to see just how badly candidates might embarrass themselves. It's ready-made comedy when certain candidates

"Who Dat Say They Gonna Beat Lil Wayne? My name ain't Bic but I keep that flame"

2008-10-07T14:21:00.009-05:00

Lil' Wayne, new blogger for ESPN The Magazine. Check out his first blogpost.People are pissed he didn't mention the Saints once!!!

Second Line News

2008-10-05T13:23:00.005-05:00

Check out my article about the Vice Presidential debates, posted at New Orleans Second Line.

A History of American Beer...umm, Miller High Life

2008-10-01T10:34:00.010-05:00

I'm getting ready to brew my own beer, and that got me thinking back to the origin of the things, to the very first gathered sprigs of hop and barley, and the delightful sweetness of a surprise fermentation...etc. So one night, drinking my favorite beer, Miller High Life, I thought, hmm, what's the story? Who's the girl in the moon? Why is it called The Champagne of Beers? What did the Miller

Crime today

2008-09-29T16:17:00.002-05:00

Check out this Times-Pic story of dirty cops getting theirs. I could write a freaking Scorsese script with this kind of material.

New Orleans Own: Nine-to-Fivers, the Next Generation

2008-09-29T15:00:00.002-05:00

Who are they, and for whom do they work? More importantly, where are they? Because you never see them anymore. They no longer get ripped during the "weeknights," (please, what is a weeknight? we're not in high school anymore) and most of the time they're too exhausted from the 40-hour-week to show their faces on Friday night. On Saturday, they're up early for friendly tennis matches or

Real World Depression

2008-09-26T08:36:00.007-05:00

So much worse than undergraduate depression.I couldn't sleep last night, and no, I'm sorry, I wasn't up puzzling about the economy. Indirectly, I guess.So I'm a privileged spoiled bitch. If you call getting the opportunity to go to a nice liberal arts college, but pay loans the rest of your life, spoiled.Either way, being in college, I got depressed, like any other person. Normal stuff. But

Satire and Sexism

2008-09-24T23:00:00.003-05:00

Thus far, I've been reluctant to write about Sarah Palin because I think V.P.ILF gets enough attention, but Tina Fey's impersonation really reframed the spectacled spectacle for me. Sure, I've been passively reading and listening to the tabloid-esque gossip about her, feeling sick to my stomach watching her perform her Little House on the Tundra routine, but Fey's performance really drew me in

Exciting shows this week!

2008-09-24T22:23:00.004-05:00

Thursday, September 25, 8 pm and 10 pm: Davy Mooney CD Release Party for "Astoriano" at Snug Harbor, 626 Frenchmen St. featuring:Davy Mooney - guitarJohn Ellis - saxSimon Lott - drumsBrian Coogan - organDan Loomis - bassCheck out Davy's myspace page and website.And Saturday, September 27, 9 pm: An Evening with Ballzack at One Eyed Jack'sBallzack on myspace

Food Stamps Anybody?

2008-09-24T21:22:00.012-05:00

Let's have a food stamp party, just like the gumbo party on K-ville! But no alcohol, illegal drugs, or tobacco products...The other day I drove down to the Convention Center to apply for food stamps. The Convention Center is humongous! What is inside there? Surely they don't need that much space. It ought to have been renovated into apartments for Katrina refugees and displaced residents of

Having Text?

2008-09-14T12:50:00.021-05:00

Drunk-dialing? A thing of the past. Phone sex? Who needs it. Young people today are leading a textual revolution. Now seduction is at your finger-tips, in the palm of your hand. Forget monogamy. In this post-modern age, you can have as many partners as there are names in your contact list. Hell, you can be monogamous, but text your ex-boyfriends, brand-new crushes, oldies-but-goodies,

"Men Resting"

2008-09-11T12:54:00.004-05:00

Drive-by-Blogger posted this comment yesterday:"I was driving on down St. Charles and there was a street dept. crew with warning signs saying "Men Resting".As I drove by, I could hear the roar of snores."!!!!!Just like in Goodfellas, when Tommy DeVito is telling that story at the restaurant: "What's really funny, is, at the fucking bank job away at Secaucus, I'm in the middle of the fucking

Adventures at Traffic Court

2008-09-10T15:57:00.009-05:00

If while leaving the New Orleans Municipal Traffic Court at Tulane Ave. and S. Broad, you can't remember where you parked, so you walk around the ghetto, sweating and crying, past the OPP (Orleans Parish Prison), getting catcalled by recently-released thugs; do not, under any circumstances, ask one of the many nearby police officers for help. Because they do not care, and they will not help you.

...and Britney! Louisiana at the VMAs!

2008-09-08T14:10:00.005-05:00

You watch her, winning awards, looking good, and you remember why you love her...until you remember her kids were taken away from her.

Lil' Wayne at the VMAs

2008-09-08T14:05:00.009-05:00

Oops, video no longer available. We're running into some serious copyright blocks. I hope you saw him at the VMA's! Lil' Wayne is the bomb!

yIKEs

2008-09-07T00:15:00.004-05:00

Oh come on, NOT AGAIN!!! But listen, seriously: EVACUATE. I know you did last week, and you're broke, and you're pissed, but when you were a little kid, did you ever hear the story about the Boy Who Cried Wolf?Every year, we play a little game, where the people who evacuate are grumpy as fuck and regretful, and those who stay strut around bragging about how hard-core they are. Well, one day,

Post-Gustav, Making Groceries at Rouses

2008-09-06T15:56:00.010-05:00

So, I don't really want to discuss my evacucation--that is, after I got sent home by boyfriend (see my last post). I got in the car with Davy the brother, Angela the sister-in-law, Linda the dog, and Vadeem the piano player and drove to Atlanta. Suffice it to say that we were crammed in an airport-side hotel teeming with Gustav evacuees, who if you tried to bond with them, aka "So you're

Gustav: "New Orleans's Shit Sandwiches" Reprise

2008-09-06T13:34:00.010-05:00

Last August, 2007, while I was home for the summer before my final year of college, I wrote for the now defunct New Orleans blog "At the Parade" (R.I.P.). My first entry defined and explored New Orleans's signature "shit sandwiches," a reoccuring phenomenon, or rather, predicament, in which one finds oneself entrenched in the muck, preferring neither here, nor there, stuck between "mold and a

C. Ray vs. C. Rose

2008-09-01T11:50:00.006-05:00

Who would win in a fight? I think you know the answer.

This Just In

2008-08-31T23:30:00.002-05:00

On CNN--"Breaking News: Levees Not Good Enough?"A duh.

Paris for Pres, C. Ray for VP

2008-08-31T14:08:00.007-05:00

I changed my mind: Paris for Pres, C. Ray for VP. Oh my god, ingenious. I can't even explain how perfect a combination these two would be. I don't think you need me to explain; I think if you just follow your instincts, you'll understand.

Sandbags?/C. Ray for President

2008-08-30T20:29:00.015-05:00

And the latest technology from the Corps of Engineers is...sandbags. Ill-designed levees, malfunctioning pumps, but heavy, blow-blocking high-quality sandbags. If the levees breach, the Engineers, hovering overhead in helicopters, will drop sandbags, silencing the thrashing, soil-busting storm surge.Sandbags. I had planned to go to town on this word, punning like crazy, e.g. "The Corps of

Gustav, WTF

2008-08-27T20:29:00.012-05:00

Anonymous posted a comment on yesterday's post:"I think now's the time for blogging on hurricane futures. Where would you go if NOLA flooded again? Would you ever come back? What are you thinking this week as Gustav approaches? How will you prepare? If you could loot one store what would it be?"Right now, I'm in Boston on vacation, and as my flight back to Nola is scheduled for Sunday morning, I

All right Chris Rose! That's my boy.

2008-08-26T12:00:00.002-05:00

Chris Rose, you got the memo. Aka you read my blog, took what I had to say to heart, and now you are back! I guess the tough love really did the trick. Your article Friday totally pumped me up! Fist to the sky. Now I'm ready to take on the city as your side-kick, the Tonto to your Lone Ranger, Robin to your Batman. Together, whether lauding, lampooning or lazin', we'll always be

The Fleur-de-lis--Enough Already

2008-08-19T13:31:00.005-05:00

No more! Just say no! No more tattoos, no more earrings, no more necklaces, no more bracelets, no more bumper-stickers, no more graffiti renditions, no more paintings, no more hand-bags, no more t-shirts, no more perfume, no more soaps, no more furniture.

New Orleans in August--A Dark Hole

2008-08-17T14:50:00.023-05:00

First off, I apologize for thus far only blogging about the Westbank. I couldn't help it. I guess the muse comes in many forms...August is a dark hole. I knew it would be, though I tried to counteract its inevitable effects with thoughts about how this year, August was going to be great, and there were all these things to look forward to. But this is no local tale of hamartia or hubris. It's

This Just In

2008-08-17T14:37:00.012-05:00

There are tunnels on the Westbank. The Harvey Tunnel. It seems I can officially join my Manhattan counterparts now that I too suffer from "bridge and tunnel syndrome." Hey, I live in Mid-town. Last night I went to a CBD roof-top party, everybody dressed up high-heeling around a swimming pool and not swimming. New York, we are more alike than we think. We cool now?

What the Pho?!

2008-08-15T14:51:00.010-05:00

Did you celebrate Westbank Thursday? No? We did. (Maybe you were too busy catching up on the blog-posts you'd missed, and posting your own comments. I apologize for not posting yesterday, but it was a holiday and I was observing it.) We took a lovely trip to Pho Bang (Pho Tau Bay is closed on Thursdays) on Manhattan Boulevard. It's next to this place that sells gold teeth at the bargain price

Paris Vs. Britney

2008-08-13T14:27:00.019-05:00

I used to be all about Britney. Homegirl could do no wrong. Homegirl was real. Homegirl can dance. In high school, we always used to say that Britney would be so much fun to party with.Now, I'm not about to rail against Britney, dwell on her bad decisions or expose her moral flaws. All I care to say is that Paris is better than Britney. Why does everything have to be a competition? Because

"I think I know you from somewhere, yeah"

2008-08-11T16:09:00.014-05:00

As promised, a whole post dedicated to Lil' Doogie. And the sociological questions prompted by his existence ("Brah, I'm real?" "I am a puppet, but not really a puppet, I'm more like a man 'cuz I'm real, you know, I don't play no games...You know sometimes people look at me and think that I ain't really real, but I'm just out here to breathe like every other man.") Ok, not those questions...

Westbank Crush part 2--Odoms

2008-08-09T16:38:00.008-05:00

Odoms, I know you have a girlfriend and all, but in the words of my friend Sascha, Ever heard of cheating? Plus, in "Man-fuck" I took note of the fact that maybe your girl might be flirting too much with other guys. "My girl knows a lot of dudes/they all like the way she moves/I know you're saying, you just friends/You better tell them little dudes 'bout your boy and them!" Odoms, I would

Westbank Crush

2008-08-07T23:52:00.038-05:00

(Check it out, for y'all who don't know: the land south of the Mississippi river, labeled "Westwego, Marrero, Harvey, Gretna, Algiers" constitutes the Westbank.)The time has come for me to blog about Ballzack and Odoms, Westbank heart-throbs. If you've gotten all my allusions thus far, then you're up to speed. I got ahead of myself, but now I'm gamin'. Usually they're in italics to give you a

Nobody likes Rouses

2008-08-07T16:14:00.036-05:00

In New Orleans, we tend to believe that local is synonymous with good. Why do we believe this? Because it is our religion. Why do people have religion? That's another issue.Of course, local does not always mean good, though we rarely admit it. One could argue that we are defensive because we are fault-ridden, literally, with deep motherfucking crevices in our city's would-be-bulwarks. A

Peeper

2008-08-06T13:09:00.008-05:00

"I am so incensed."--JudeEver been peeped on? In our delightful little Mid City doll-house, I'm resting my service-industry legs on the living-room couch, surfing the internet, tweaking my blog to perfection, etc., when some lanky scraggly-haired white dude peeps in my front door window. Now, of course, I'm sure he's Jude, as he and my roommate are due back from some bywater haunt. Then the

Do You Know Jude?

2008-08-05T14:11:00.045-05:00

There was a time when I didn't know Jude. But then one day I met Jude, and no matter how hard you try, you cannot unmeet Jude. The Jude abides. A lovely leech, a tantalizing tick, the band-aid that never lost its stick; Jude adheres. The paradisal parasite, Jude is the worm in my apple; rich and earthen, he's the shit that makes my garden grow.Jude sticks, but I have learned if I know what's