yIKEs

Oh come on, NOT AGAIN!!!

But listen, seriously: EVACUATE. I know you did last week, and you're broke, and you're pissed, but when you were a little kid, did you ever hear the story about the Boy Who Cried Wolf?

Every year, we play a little game, where the people who evacuate are grumpy as fuck and regretful, and those who stay strut around bragging about how hard-core they are. Well, one day, you're going to get fucked in the ass, and you're not going to feel cool. You understand?

P.S. Y'all heard of this mediocre-ass band Beulah? I'm listening right now cuz I'm exhausted, home on Saturday night, and I needed something mindless...until I hear the goddamn line, "I'm missing you like hurricanes/I give them names but their waves keep rolling/On and On and On..."

Not exactly my sentiment.