This year, downtown revelers will watch a fleur-de-lis, instead of the Post-K paper-mache gumbo pot, drop in Jackson Square.
I hear it is black and gold, nine feet high by six feet wide, and will ascend a 25-foot pole to the top of Jax Brewery before dropping amidst a backdrop of fireworks over the Mississippi River.
The fluckin' fleur-de-lis--why don't we just drop it?
It seems there's no stopping it. We've so empowered this arbitrary symbol that it now has a life of its own. It's about time there's a super-hero version, don't you think?
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Can it get any worse than this?
Posted by Kate Mooney at 2:11 PM
Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Oh my god, like where are we going out tonight? I really need something new, I'm in like such a funk. Oh my god, you fucking bitch, you did not just suggest Balcony. I'm like so over Balcony. Please, how about something new??? Like a different neighborhood? Oh really, you think there's no boys in Mid-City? That doesn't even make sense, what are you even talking about. Ok, I'm done with this conversation, let's see what the Bar Wheel has to say: Spppiiinnnnnnn!
The Bar Wheel landed on.....THE MID-CITY YACHT CLUB!!! Your retarded friends won't know how to get there, so they probably won't make it. But your friends who have a clue will come along and have a good time. Not only is the Bar Wheel a lifesaver, but it's also a weeding out process, if you see what I mean...
Everybody needs one. The Bar Wheel helps you expand your horizons. Keep your outlook fresh, and your experiences new, always changing. Sometimes you have to relinquish control, give yourself up to fate, the wheel of fortuna, so to speak. Like Bjork says, it's not up to you, it never really was. Nietzsche says the story of civilization is the will to power. Well, you know every friend group has a leader, that cock sucker who's like, we're doing this tonight. With the Bar Wheel, you can shrug off that age-old struggle with a simple spin, discontinue the pattern of the oppressed overthrowing his oppressor only to command the same abuse of power.
What are the limitations of the Bar Wheel? It's only made of wood, and doesn't spin on its own, unless there's a draught in the room. You can spin it and see where the pointer lands, but Bar Wheel cannot force you to go there. But that's okay; the Bar Wheel merely suggests, means to open your mind to new possibilities. The Bar Wheel doesn't know what time it is, that you just got off work and are tired, that such-and-such-place is closed, or that you want to go to some particular mediocre spot to meet somebody who won't be worth it (don't be a loser). The Bar Wheel doesn't know what kind of person you are, but it does know there's always room for improvement, so no matter your caliber, the Bar Wheel seeks to make you better. How can you go wrong?
If you want one, leave a comment with your information. And we'll even custom make you one for your city.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Like we need more reasons to celebrate drinking.
Also, what is it about weather extremes that make you want to go on a bender? In the summertime, when it's hot as shit, that's all you want to do. Beer and sweat and late nights. And in the winter time, when it's cold as fuck, you warm up with icy liquor drinks. Whereas in fall and spring: moderation in all things.
Hmm. See you at the bars!
Posted by Kate Mooney at 4:19 PM