Chris Rose, you got the memo. Aka you read my blog, took what I had to say to heart, and now you are back! I guess the tough love really did the trick. Your article Friday totally pumped me up! Fist to the sky. Now I'm ready to take on the city as your side-kick, the Tonto to your Lone Ranger, Robin to your Batman. Together, whether lauding, lampooning or lazin', we'll always be witty-willynilly with our words.
Rose's recent column "Excellence in Insanity; Hizzoner the mayor isn't the only one worthy of faint praise," on 8/22/08, previewed that night's awards ceremony at the Ritz Carlton Penthouse Suite, hosted by the "Excellence in Recovery Host Committee." Ostensibly a benefit to recognize Katrina survivors who have significantly contributed to the recovery of New Orleans, the night instead featured C. Ray, bestowing upon him "The Award of Distinction for Recovery, Courage, and Leadership." Friday night, the Ritz was surrounded by picketers, every-day-New-Orleanians incensed by the notion of bright lights upon our already too-shiny-headed mayor.
The "Excellence in Recovery Host Committee" was led by Nagin's personal photographer, some dude who goes by first-name only: Bernardo (no, not that Bernardo--"This girl has beautiful eyes....She thinks I'm an asshole....Come to my bed"). The committee is comprised of a few other folks, City Council President Jacquelyn Brechtel Clarkson and former Entergy New Orleans CEO Dan Packer, who both have told the press that they thought they were honoring survivors, not the mayor.
Rose ridicules the event by creating fictional committees and awards to be distributed to our city's most recent governmental buffoons: Eddie Price, David Vitter, William Jefferson, and Marc Morial. (Why not Eddie Jordan, I wonder?) In the case of Eddie Price, the Mandeville mayor who, intoxicated, rammed a city-owned vehicle through a toll-booth gate on the Causeway this June and escaped unticketed, Rose assigned "Mandeville's Magnificence in Magnanimous Munificence Committee" the honor of awarding him an "Excellent Adventures in Good Government Award." Senator David Vitter, who earned public shame through his exploits with prostitutes, received the "Listen up Dimwit Don't You Realize That People Are Going to Joke About this For the Rest of Your Life Award" from the "Excellence in Family Values Host Committee." William Jefferson, the State representative most notorious for hoarding $90,000 in cash in his refrigerator during his 2005 term, was awarded the "Distinction in Fiduciary Refrigeration and Glaciation Award" by the "Excellence in Appliances Host Committee." Ex-mayor Marc Morial, whose term was a big crooked family party, was recognized by the "Excellence in Avoiding Prosecution While Seemingly Every Single Member of Your Family and Circle of Friends Trundles off to Prison Host Committee" with the "Distinction in Dubious Innocence Award." And in a final disarming act of self-parody, Rose awarded himself the "Distinction for Indistinction Award," granted by the "Excellence in Vacuous Journalism Host Committee."
So, congratulations, Chris Rose. Not only are you funny-looking, and funny, but you've learned to stop taking yourself so seriously. Have you matured with grace? Three years post-K, you've finally emerged from your stupor, righted your stagger and now you're turning on toe-shoes, tall and elegant around the room.
...Almost. But you're hanging at Snake 'n Jakes? That's where you chill? Thanks for publicizing that in the paper; I'll be there. I guess Mae's must be so '90's for you, huh? (That's when you interviewed Mae, right? I saw your article on the wall, Christopher Rose.)
Well, you got it back...that fiya.
1 comment:
I think now's the time for blogging on hurricane futures. Where would you go if NOLA flooded again? Would you ever come back? What are you thinking this week as Gustav approaches? How will you prepare? If you could loot one store what would it be?
Post a Comment