"Stuff White People Like" is Funny Again

I remember the first time I was sent the link. I immediately liked the title. I mean, white people love to self-parody because we are self-conscious about our dorkiness and embarrassed of our privilege.
But after reading a few entries, I lost interest. I remember the post about white people liking Mos Def. My response to that post, and most of the others I read, was a small eruption of chuckle that went "uhuhuhhuh" and then cut off. Next. So I stopped reading.
Today, scanning the nominations for "THE BLOGGIES" awards, (y'all. I wasn't nominated.) I came across "Stuff White People Like," in the "Best Humorous Blog" category. So I toured the site once again, and this time experienced it as one of those web sensations you show your friends, mucking up the punch lines because you're already laughing.

Here's a handful of funny stuff I encountered on the site:

1. "Taking a year off." "When someone goes through a stressful experience they usually require some time off to clear their head, regain focus, and recover from the pain and suffering. Of course, in white culture these experiences are most often defined as finishing high school, making it through three years of college, or working for eleven months straight with only two weeks vacation and every statutory holiday ('they don’t count because I had to spend them with family.')"

Thank you, Stuff White People Like, for making fun of this.

2. "Sea Salt." "Regardless of how much a white person cooks or how long they have lived in their current home, they all have a tube of sea salt in their pantry."

3. "Black Music that Black People Don't Listen to Anymore" "All music genres go through a very similar life cycle: birth, growth, mainstream acceptance, decline, and finally obscurity. With black music, however, the final stage is never reached because white people are work tirelessly to keep it alive. Apparently, once a music has lost its relevance with its intended audience, it becomes MORE relevant to white people."

Before I even began to read the text following the title, my friend went, "Yeah, it's true. I mean I've been trying all week to get my hands on a Public Enemy tape." Also, story of my life: cute Jewish boys who "only listen to hip-hop."

4. "Promising to Learn a New Language." "Throughout history, white people have a pretty poor record when it comes to promises (see Americans, Native for examples). Thankfully, modern white people are trying to erase the shame of the past by making promises to themselves that they will never keep. Writing a novel, going vegan, or sending their future kid to public school are just a few of these great breakable promises. But by far the most common self improvement promise is to learn a new language."

5. "Self-Aware Hip-Hop References." "Among the wrong kind of white people, there are few more hated than the wigger or white thug. Though it is very acceptable and common for the right kind of white people to dress and act as though they were Japanese, Chinese, or European, it is completely unacceptable for them to act like rappers.This distaste caused a dilemma for white people who had to show both that they loved hip hop but also that they were aware they were white. The brilliant solution they came up with was to appropriate hip hop words and mannerisms and filter them through a white appropriateness system.For example, white people find it particularly hilarious to take slang and enunciate every word perfectly.
'Homey, that bernaise sauce you made is wack. Do you know what I am saying? For Real.'
'Well, I used a different type of butter. I switched the style up, so let the haters hate and I’ll watch the deliciousness pile up.'"

Oh, I am guilty of this. But, I mean, I'm always just messing around!